Don't Assume it's the Shoes

Right now I am lying on a rug in SOC with a group of friends. The entirety of the Freshman class
has been forced from their homes due to yet another fire drill. Basically, this seems like a wonderful
time to reflect on the week. 

Today, I am going to tell you a story about Ron. 

It was Wednesday. I stuffed my backpack full with my textbooks, notebooks, computer, and all the
necessary chargers and cords. I then walked down Nebraska and found my way to the
Tenleytown Library. Settled at a table on the second floor next to the ceiling high windows overlooking
the street, I started the slow process of working my way through my extensive to-do list.
Every now and then, I would look up from the computer and out the window. It was through that
window that I saw Ron. A pretty obvious homeless man sitting outside in an old office chair across
from a woman with bright pink acrylics. Look closer at the gentleman, I noticed he wasn’t wearing
any shoes. Considering it was only about forty degrees out, I found this quite alarming. I turned back to
my computer screen. A minute later, I looked out the window, saw the barefeet, took a sip of coffee, and
looked back at my bright computer screen. This process was repeated about half a dozen times until
I finally couldn’t take it anymore, and I got ready to pack up my belongings and go talk to the man.
Unfortunately, by the time I reached this initiative the gentleman had left. However, when thirty minutes
elapsed and I still couldn’t stop thinking about the barefeet, I decided to go down and ask the woman
with the bright pink acrylics about him. She informed me that he was relaxing about five feet away
under the tarp/makeshift house to my left and that his name was Ron. I went over with the woman
with the pink acrylics (I regretfully did not catch her name) and the conversation went roughly like this:

Me: “Good afternoon Ron, my name is Xandra. I noticed you weren’t wearing any shoes, so I was
wondering if you would allow me to buy you a pair?”

Ron: “I don’t need any, I have a whole bed of shoes”

The woman: “Where were you going to buy them from?”

Me: “The Target since it is right over there”

Ron: “Oh well, I would have to get special shoes from a doctor anyway, those shoes would just hurt
my feet” 

I then thanked Ron and the woman for their time, wished them a good day, gave the woman five bucks,
and went back into the library to continue working.

I am so intensely thankful for situations like these which pop me out of my bubble and cause me to
question my naivety and ignorance. I like to think that I interact with others always under the
understanding that they have a story deeper than a person can read on the surface. Yet, here I was
assuming I know a person’s problem and the way to solve it simply by looking. It is so easy to fall into
that trap of presumptuous altruism, and it is unfortunately a manner in which the U.S. as a whole has
had the habit of interacting with other countries (usually also with the added factor of self-interest).
This arrogant mindset of “knowing best” is the same frame of mind which prevents people from gaining
a true understanding of the “other” which often paves the way for both intentional and unintentional
violence as we are currently learning about through Conquest of America. How to prevent this and
keep your presumptions in check? I would personally advocate for a system of communication in
which the first step is to consciously try to recognize your own bias and preconceptions, assume that
they are wrong, and then test it by asking the proper questions. For instance, my conversation with Ron
might have been much more productive if I had begun by saying something like this:

“Hello Ron, my name is Xandra. I noticed you were not wearing shoes. Can I ask why?” 

Pending on the answer, maybe my next question would do something like this:

“I am a college student with pretty low funds, but is there anything you would want me to do to help?”

Hooray for casual Wednesday bubble bursting.