The Browning Banana Republic Gazette

The Browning Banana Republic Gazette  

 Betrayal! The War at Close! 

9/13/2019 

(reported by a completely unbiased journalist) 

The Schism: 

Through lies and deceit our supreme Ruler was tricked into following our once respected diplomat in forming a new country. It has been reported that our Ruler has stated that her one regret is believing the bluffs told by our ex-diplomat which convinced her it was in our nation’s best interest to schism. May the Creator forgive her! Despite the odds and our Ruler’s sense of betrayal she did her best to own her mistake and commit to the new nation for the good for the people and the good of our cause.  As our prophets always say, a brown banana makes a good banana bread. Alas the funds and strength of the conniving heathens is great at this time. Taking attacks from all sides from the unholy union of the others, our troops were soon overwhelmed. BUT the Creator always provides. Remember our secret power of always being able to take back a territory that was lost. We may have not been able to achieve our prime objective this time around, but we can still fight with our Creator given teeth and nails to prevent others from achieve their less holy objectives.  

Hope: 

We cannot succumb to these feelings of defeat. Much has been learned through our trials and errors. We have gained greater wisdom in strategy. We have learned how to better maneuver the dynamics between the other countries. We have grown thicker skin to the manipulation of others and grown in trust of our own guts. Do not fear! Do not lose hope! We shall prevail in the end!